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killer shrike
Sat May 21, 2005 at 10:49:32 pm EDT
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"The Adventures of Alcheman #20, Part One"
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The Adventures of Alcheman #20


“Odd Couples”



Previously: Do we really need a Previously? I mean, the last story is only six inches down the board. I suppose the one good thing about less traffic is that I don’t have to worry about putting together a detailed recap.


Michael Wooster was late, and he blamed Acid Wash for it.

The supervillain had led Michael on a chase through the bowery of Seedytown, eluding capture by burning escape routes or threatening civilians with his Dissolution Gun. It had taken Alcheman 45 minutes alone to search the rubble of a collapsed brownstone after Acid Wash liquefied one of its load bearing walls. Fortunately there had been no causalities.

It wasn’t until 6:30 am that Alcheman had caught up with the rampaging criminal. Once he assumed the properties of pure diamond the battle proved remarkably short. One faceted fist to Acid Wash’s jaw and the crime spree had been halted. Now it was time for Michael to resume the more mundane aspects of his life.

*****


“No!!” Kerry Shepherdson screeched as the car she was in sputtered past the ivy-covered gates of Hogan Academy, “I’m not going and you can’t make me!”

“It’s a little late to be deciding that,” her sister adjudged from the back of the car.

Kerry disagreed. When they parked in one of the school’s visitor spaces she refused to move.

“Kerry, come on,” Visionary pleaded, “This place won’t be so awful. You were really impressed with the description of their Chem Lab.”

The young woman’s response was to turn in his direction and hiss.

The possibly fake Legionnaire blinked, “Ah. OK.”

“I don’t need no education!” Kerry argued, her eyes blazing as possible harbingers to infernos to come, “Bad enough I had to sit through your pointless lectures, but now I’m being forced to go to some dorky prep school for stuck up jerks?! No way!”

“Right,” Sarah took charge, opening her door and getting out. Then she opened Kerry’s door and waited, “Let’s go, Kerry.”

Kerry grabbed hold of the passenger side seat belt and wound it around both her hands.

The sisters stared at one another with faces of grim determination.

“Uh, take it easy, ladies,” Visionary implored. He wasn’t sure if the Lair Legion’s auto insurance policy covered “improbable acts of obstinacy.”

*****


Michael coasted his ten-speed onto Hogan Academy grounds only twenty minutes before take-in. That gave him little time to shower, shave, dress for work, and peruse his lesson plan for today’s classes.

As he pedaled past the administration building Michael noticed a small gathering of people. Janitors, security guards, and a handful of other early arrivals to school were gawking at two young women engaged in a fierce struggle of wills and muscles.

“Let go! Stop!! This is an abuse of- of- sisterly power!” Kerry wailed as Sarah held her by the waist and tried to pull the teen from the car. The efforts of the elder Shepherdson were stymied by Kerry’s death grip on the seat belt strap.

“Now Kerry,” Shep said through gritted teeth, “This isn’t the way to make a good first impression.”

“I don’t care! Somebody help me! My rights are being violated! Attica!! Attica!!!”

“New student?” Michael inquired as he braked by one of the school secretaries.

The elderly woman nodded and passed him a manila folder, “She’s an incoming junior.”

“Ah,” Michael said. This fact made her one of his, as he taught eleventh grade civics. He thumbed through the girl’s file: Kerry Shepherdson, Age:16. In America on a student visa from Ireland. Last school attended: N/A (Home schooled).

That would seem to explain her demonstrated separation anxiety.

Kerry was now stretched out wholly, as the woman who was trying to extricate her from the car tugged on her ankles.

“Someone should intervene,” Michael noted.

The secretary agreed, “Headmaster Furillo has locked himself in his office, and the rest of the administrators are not back from their seminar in Cazumel. So I guess that leaves the Junior Class Adviser, Mr. Wooster.”

Which happened to be Mr. Wooster, unfortunately for him.

*****


When Michael broke through the throng of onlookers he realized there was a third person involved in the drama. A man with a yellow topcoat sat in the car’s driver’s seat, looking pensive.

“Maybe I should help,” he offered.

“No!!” the two women shouted, one out of rage, the other concern.

“Just-ugh!-keep Kerry away from the cigarette lighter, Vizh- Ray! I mean Ray,” the one in the waitress uniform said, “I… almost… got her!”

“Good morning,” Michael said in greeting, “I’m Michael Wooster and-“

Sarah looked back at the man in sweat pants and a zipped-up Starter jacket, “Hey, do you think you could hold these for me?” she gestured with her head at Kerry’s legs, “If I can get to where she’s ticklish this will be over in a second.”

Michael watched the squirming, snarling girl apprehensively, “I, ah, don’t think so.”

“Don’t want to do the heavy lifting, eh? OK-“

“Heavy?!” Kerry objected.

Her sister ignored the complaint and bulled on, “How do you feel about tickling Kerry’s ribs?”

“Very uncomfortable,” the young man admitted before trying to introduce himself again, “I’m Michael Wooster. I’ll be one of Miss Shepherdson’s instructors this term.”

“Nice to meet you. Say hello to Mister Wooster, Kerry.”

“Get. Bent,” the teen replied darkly.

The man in yellow popped up from the other side of the car, “Hello. I’m Ray Ivison, Kerry’s, uh, guardian.”

“Mr. Ivison,” the pair shook hands.

Visionary glanced at the struggling women, and then back to Michael, “Uh, sorry about the racket. Kerry is just nervous about her first day.”

“Hm. Yes. Well, I can understand that. Starting at a new school so late in the year is a daunting task. But Hogan Academy strives to ensure all our students have the opportunity to succeed both academically and socially in our system.”

“That’s great. We-“

“Gahhhhh!!” Sarah Shepherdson shouted in triumph as she pried Kerry free. The two sisters crashed down hard on the asphalt.

‘Ray Ivison’ looked down at the scrum of femininity sprawled at his feet and sighed, “We really appreciate that.”


Next: More of Kerry’s first day. And a pair of supporting characters return, one good, and one very, very bad. Out at some point in the future.







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